familiar emptiness

So today i feel really empty and a bit idle. I am just a little beat by the fact that i could be infatuated or it could be that i really do not know what i want…. maybe i am confused. To be honest i don’t even know what i am doing, blogging but for some reason i feel relieved. I feel like there really is someone to talk to and there really is some one who listens and i guess that is this PC that i find oh so less of humanoid… i don’t even know i get along with it much more than humans. Well i try to keep calm and act normal but i know that i was not born sane. i really do not understand myself.

Has anyone ever questioned you about who you are? Has anyone ever said, “hey could you…… define yourself?” Would you? Can I? i highly doubt it though. why does it feel so much of a hurdle to me. every year i hope to find myself and the opposite happens. However, 2016 seems to be doing great…..i changed schools, i made friends, i have tasted lips in the dark in some really loud music and i have seen some bad ass fights. Yeah there’s a lot of drama from the girls dorms. anyway i hate it that some people actually find entertainment in it…..don’t they feel that it really is none of their business? anyway i am an empty soul for now…. hopefully i will get better by the end of theĀ  day. i feel like sitting in a small dark room, alone and just stare into it wishing i was timeless…. almost inexistent but until then…. this ego lives….